APOLOGIES FOR ABSENCE by Barry Tebb
Sorry, Neil Oram (with an orange in my pocket)
I canâ€™t make ,your loch-side commune by bonny Drummadrochit.
Sorry Brenda Williams, I canâ€™t share your park bench protest near the Royal Free
At sixty I need a fire and slippers, -4 outside just isnâ€™t me.
Sorry, Chris Torrance, I canâ€™t make your Welsh eyrie
Just spelling Gymmercher Isaf Pontneathvaughan quite fazes me.
Sorry, Seamus Famous, your hide away in Dublin Bay
No doubt is bloody grand but I canâ€™t face the journey to a far off foreign land.
Sorry James Kirkup, your Andorran niche
Is just too complicated for me to ever reach.
Apologies especially to Emily Bronteâ€™s ghost -
You are the mostest hostess that I could ever boast
Your heather moor and cobbled streetâ€™s allure
Are something Iâ€™ve put off until the braw New Year.