Hamlet Off-Stage: Hambeau Heartbroke Horny by D. C. Berry
Ophelia claims we're dead and gives me back all my Frank Zappa and the Mothers albums. I nearly claw out of my shell and say, "You can't," but for a moment I've nothing to quote. I'm rot, mortis of broken heart. Hog wash! Lovers don't die of broken hearts. Lovebirds perish because of broken heads, the brain a windshield shattered by Why? Why? Hairless, my head looks like a turtle shell, puzzle pieces of me that now don't fit. What can a turtle Hamster do but crawl? Can't pull in my six flags like a castle. I crawl away, neck poked out like a prick -- head broke, heart broke, but balls in perfect health.
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