The Black Lace Fan My Mother Gave Me by Eavan Boland
It was the first gift he ever gave her, buying it for five five francs in the Galeries in pre-war Paris. It was stifling. A starless drought made the nights stormy.
They stayed in the city for the summer. The met in cafes. She was always early. He was late. That evening he was later. They wrapped the fan. He looked at his watch.
She looked down the Boulevard des Capucines. She ordered more coffee. She stood up. The streets were emptying. The heat was killing. She thought the distance smelled of rain and lightning.
These are wild roses, appliqued on silk by hand, darkly picked, stitched boldly, quickly. The rest is tortoiseshell and has the reticent clear patience of its element. It is a worn-out, underwater bullion and it keeps, even now, an inference of its violation. The lace is overcast as if the weather it opened for and offset had entered it.
The past is an empty cafe terrace. An airless dusk before thunder. A man running. And no way to know what happened thenâ€” none at allâ€”unless ,of course, you improvise:
The blackbird on this first sultry morning, in summer, finding buds, worms, fruit, feels the heat. Suddenly she puts out her wingâ€” the whole, full, flirtatious span of it.