A short direction To avoid dejection, By variations In occupations, And prolongation Of relaxation, And combinations Of recreations, And disputation On the state of the nation In adaptation To your station, By invitations To friends and relations, By evitation Of amputation, By permutation In conversation, And deep reflection You'll avoid dejection.
Learn well your grammar, And never stammer, Write well and neatly, And sing most sweetly, Be enterprising, Love early rising, Go walk of six miles, Have ready quick smiles, With lightsome laughter, Soft flowing after. Drink tea, not coffee; Never eat toffy. Eat bread with butter. Once more, don't stutter.
Don't waste your money, Abstain from honey. Shut doors behind you, (Don't slam them, mind you.) Drink beer, not porter. Don't enter the water Till to swim you are able. Sit close to the table. Take care of a candle. Shut a door by the handle, Don't push with your shoulder Until you are older. Lose not a button. Refuse cold mutton. Starve your canaries. Believe in fairies. If you are able, Don't have a stable With any mangers. Be rude to strangers.