I donâ€™t remember the word I wished to say by Osip Mandelstam
I donâ€™t remember the word I wished to say. The blind swallow returns to the hall of shadow, on shorn wings, with the translucent ones to play. The song of night is sung without memory, though.
No birds. No blossoms on the dried flowers. The manes of nightâ€™s horses are translucent. An empty boat drifts on the naked river. Lost among grasshoppers the wordâ€™s quiescent.
It swells slowly like a shrine, or a canvas sheet, hurling itself down, mad, like Antigone, or falls, now, a dead swallow at our feet. with a twig of greenness, and a Stygian sympathy.
O, to bring back the diffidence of the intuitive caress, and the full delight of recognition. I am so fearful of the sobs of The Muses, the mist, the bell-sounds, perdition.
Mortal creatures can love and recognise: sound may pour out, for them, through their fingers, and overflow: I donâ€™t remember the word I wished to say, and a fleshless thought returns to the house of shadow.
The translucent one speaks in another guise, always the swallow, dear one, Antigone.... on the lips the burning of black ice, and Stygian sounds in the memory.