The Beautiful City of Perth by William Topaz McGonagall
Beautiful Ancient City of Perth, One of the grandest on the earth, With your stately mansions and streets so clean, And situated between two Inches green, Which are most magnificent to be seen
The North Inch is beautiful to behold, Where the daisies and butter-cups their petals unfold, In the warm summer time of the year, While the clear silvery Tay rolls by quite near, And such a scene will your spirits cheer.
The South Inch is lovely, be it said, And a splendid spot for military parade, While along the highway there are some big trees, Where the soldiers can rest or stand at ease, Whichever way their commanders please.
The surrounding woodland scenery is very grand, It cannot be surpassed in fair Scotland, Especially the elegant Palace of Scone, in history renowned, Where some of Scotland's kings were crowned.
And the Fair Maid of Perth's house is worthy to be seen, Which is well worth visiting by Duke, Lord, or Queen; The Fair Maid of Perth caused the battle on the North Inch 'Twixt the Clans Chattan and Kay, and neither of them did flinch, Until they were cut up inch by inch.
The scenery is lovely in the month of June, When trees and flowers are in full bloom, Especially near by the Palace of Scone, Where the blackbird is heard whistling all day While near by rolls on the clear silvery Tay.
Of all the cities in Scotland, beautiful Perth for me, For it is the most elegant city that ever I did see, With its beautiful woodland scenery along the river Tay, Which would make the tourist's heart feel gay, While fishing for trout on a fine summer day.
There, the angler, if he likes to resort For a few day's fishing, can have excellent sport, And while he is fishing during the day, He will feel delighted with the scenery along the river Tay. And the fish he catches will drive dull care away, And his toil will be rewarded for the fatigues of the day.
Beautiful city of Perth, magnificent to be seen, With your grand statues and Inches green, And your lovely maidens fair and gay, Which, in conclusion, I will venture to say, You cannot be surpassed at the present day.