"Almost anyone can be an author; the business is to collect money and fame from this state of being."
"Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"
"If one is to be called a liar, one may as well make an effort to deserve the name."
"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you."
"My spelling is Wobbly. It's good spelling but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places."
"Never forget me, because if I thought you would, I'd never leave."
"No doubt Jack the Ripper excused himself on the grounds that it was human nature."
"One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries."
"Organizating is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up."
"Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it is not all mixed up."
"The Old Testament is responsible for more atheism, agnosticism, disbelief-call it what you will-than any book ever written; it has emptied more churches than all the counterattractions of cinema, motor bicycle and golf course."
"Time is swift, it races by; Opportunities are born and die... Still you wait and will not try - A bird with wings who dares not rise and fly."
"To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks."
"What I say is that, if a fellow really likes potatoes, he must be a pretty decent sort of fellow."
"When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it."
"You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes."
"You will be better advised to watch what we do instead of what we say."