Tom Collins by Andrew Barton Paterson
Who never drinks and never bets,
But loves his wife and pays his debts
And feels content with what he gets?
Who has the utmost confidence
That all the banks now in suspense
Will meet their paper three years hence?
Who reads the Herald leaders through,
And takes the Evening News for true,
And thought the Echo's jokes were new?
Who is the patriot renowned
So very opportunely found
To fork up Dibbs's thousand pound?